small hands
(i do not know what it is about you that closes
and opens; only something in me understands
the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)
nobody, not even the rain, has such small hands
Saturday, October 19, 2002
My friend spent the night.
I am having my front stairs repaired.
Anyway, I hired Victor and his crew to fix my stairs, after meeting him last year when he came to paint a lot of the inside of my house. Victor is a good egg, meticulous, young, hard working, from Mexico. At some point during the house painting I told him about my divorce and he's been very understanding and friendly toward my children.
So his crew was here this morning putting a second coat of paint on the stairs.
They saw my friend leaving.
When Victor got there we talked about the stairs, I paid him the remaining balance, and he said "My crew says that you already have a boyfriend." I said "He's not my boyfriend." The night with my friend had me in a bit of a haze, so we left it at that and switched to discussing painting my son's room.
What is this already business?
It's like there is a period of mourning after a divorce and for its duration I'm not supposed to have sex. But what about affection, companionship, a good conversation, watching movies together. Am I supposed for forego those as well?
My divorce made me feel so broken and hurt that I needed and continue to need time to regroup. But that time is self-imposed and it obviously does not involve celibacy or abstinence from human companionship. I thought it did, at first, and it felt safer.
I am having my front stairs repaired.
Anyway, I hired Victor and his crew to fix my stairs, after meeting him last year when he came to paint a lot of the inside of my house. Victor is a good egg, meticulous, young, hard working, from Mexico. At some point during the house painting I told him about my divorce and he's been very understanding and friendly toward my children.
So his crew was here this morning putting a second coat of paint on the stairs.
They saw my friend leaving.
When Victor got there we talked about the stairs, I paid him the remaining balance, and he said "My crew says that you already have a boyfriend." I said "He's not my boyfriend." The night with my friend had me in a bit of a haze, so we left it at that and switched to discussing painting my son's room.
What is this already business?
It's like there is a period of mourning after a divorce and for its duration I'm not supposed to have sex. But what about affection, companionship, a good conversation, watching movies together. Am I supposed for forego those as well?
My divorce made me feel so broken and hurt that I needed and continue to need time to regroup. But that time is self-imposed and it obviously does not involve celibacy or abstinence from human companionship. I thought it did, at first, and it felt safer.
