small hands

We went to see Walk the Line and it was tremendous.

The part where June is sitting in the car and she says "It burns, it burns," touched me deeply. I was in tears the rest of the day.

There is so much truth in the film.

Afterward we went for a late lunch. I had grilled salmon, which is a real treat on Thanksgiving weekend, and a Lemon Drop cocktail.

I've had two days off from work. My son declared this morning that he was going to stay home too, but I very subtly hustled him out of his pajamas, got some breakfast in him, and deposited him at school.

Tomorrow, back to the salt mines.

Thanksgiving was very, very good. They all loved the desserts.



I didn't make the orange almond cakes because it called for five egg whites and I was down to my last three eggs. Which means I used 33 eggs for the rest of the desserts. Instead I made a flourless chocolate cake with Green and Blacks chocolate. I can taste it as I type.

Family was excellent and I am deeply thankful for all of them. Loud, loud conversation. My mom showed a guest the Anniversary Quilt, about which she was vey complimentary, and I was proud of myself.

Disc one Season One of Lost is on right now. Good acting.

Hey I finished the Blue Birdcages quilt yesterday. It is so pretty. See.







I have two extra days off--Monday and Tuesday--and I'm gonna sit in my study with my fabric and plan on the next one and the next one.

I have 35 days until the end of the year, but I don't think I can finish quilting another one for two reasons. One, the two next up on the queue are going to involve A LOT of quilting and they're huge. Two, I gotta be good to my wrists and forearms, and that means rest and gentle use.

So....it might only seven completed quilts in 2005.

Yesterday it rained most of the day and the kids and I (and their cousin later) stayed home. I was not going to go out anyway. Buy Nothing Day is a walk in the park when the weather is inclement and there is plenty of food in the house and you would never go to Best Buy at 5AM anyway.

I quilted, they played. My girl wanted blueberry pancakes, so I made them for her. They turned out well. The rest of the day we ate Thanksgiving leftovers and pasta.

As I was sewing on the binding, I watched the bonus materials for Star Wars Episode III. Geek alert: I like watching how a film is made because you get to see very, very creative people at work as a team. The producers of Star Wars is an incredibly articulate man, which made his narration that much better. My girl and I enjoyed the section about the costume designer the best, naturally.

I got my pinkpurpleorange swap package and the whole family is in ecstacy.









Thank you so much!!! It is exquisite and thoughtful and lovely. I haven't finished my swap package yet, so I will be working on it too during my two extra days off.

I gotta run now, because I'm going to the movies with my BF. Have a wonderful weekend!

The first of the pies are baking. Ice cream is in the freezer. Tomorrow I only have to work half a day, so I'll make the rest of the desserts.

I like the deep concentration of cooking.

Last night I made curried rice noodles with green beans, carrots, and sliced pork. The recipe said to heat the oil up until it was almost smoking. I did and then added the garlic and ginger. My garlic turned brown immediately and I thought--oh no, burnt garlic, it's going to be bitter. I put in the curry powder next, but I put in WAY TOO MUCH. I didn't think the kids would eat it.

My girl ate two big servings. My boy took one look and asked for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I made him one and he sat in front of his plate and started eating it. The peanut butter and the smell of the curry made him try a bite of noodles and he loved it. Peanuts and curry? Shoot! Sixty three million Thais can't be wrong. He ate a ton.

I finished the straight quilting on the Blue Birdcages quilt and now I am going to do the free motion on the colored fabric, put on a binding and that quilt is finished.

Shh. I have been quilting a lot, pushing to get it done, and the quilt is heavy, so now my wrists and hands are hurting. No carpal tunnel! Bad!! Go away.

Margi: I think Tim Russert is on both CNN and NBC.

Thank you Justine for a coffee toast.

MWAH back to Scout.

Jackie, I'm not going to do the chocolate red velvet cake because it calls for 1/4 cup of red food coloring. That seems like a lot. I'm not a big fan of tangy, like cream cheese, so I'm going with the seven minute icing.

Hi Rana, thank you for the recipe offer. I will e-mail you.

I was listening to Maureen Dowd on Forum this morning. I had previously heard her on Fresh Air and talking to Tim Russert on CNN. She's been hawking her book.

I wanted to call into Forum as I was driving to depositions in Sacramento, but I couldn't get through.

I wanted to ask her this:

You made a comment on Fresh Air that you could tell the status of feminism in America by looking at the women who walked into Bergdorf Goodman in Manhattan. Do you think that your book is relevant to or reflective of anyone other than upper middle class white women?

Dowd cites the New York Times article on women Yale graduates who marry well and stop working outside of the home. It reminds of the Newsweek article in the 1980s which said that a professional woman had as much chance of being taken hostage as getting married.

These pronouncements, in much hyped and discussed media, always make me run for my copy of Backlash by Susan Faludi. It serves as a touchstone when the death of feminism is proclaimed.

Maureen Dowd's thesis--it sounds like (I haven't read the book)--is that professional women who have achieved career success will not get married or date.

I am an African American working mother of two small children. Just like my mother, my grandmother, my greatgrandmother.

One thing which irritates me about the declaration that feminism is dead because post-boom generation women are staying home just like their grandmothers did is that it ignores all of the women of color who never stayed home.

It was never an option for me to stay home. I don't resent this fact in the least. I like working. I like earning money. I like practicing law.

Maureen Dowd never questions the subtext, which is that marriage is desireable. My experience of marriage does not make me desire it.

It also appalls me that, during these ostensibly serious interviews, she is sucked into whining/lamenting about the fact that she doesn't have a boyfriend/husband. I respect the desire, but telling Tim Russert about it on CNN is less likely to get you a date than it is to bolster your flawed thesis that professional women can't get one.

I feel very fortunate that I am not married. Friday night the children were with their dad. I had a sleepover with my BF and then, in the morning, we went to breakfast at Mama's Royal. We sat next to each other in a booth and had a very animated conversation with lots of laughing, which drew the attention of the other diners.

At noon the kids came home and we went to see Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. We enjoyed it, though the children asked me a billion questions. I liked the Quidditch World Cup scenes. I think Alfonso Cuaron could have done a better job than Mike Newell, but how the hell do I know?

My son spiked a fever during the movie, though he felt fine, so we went directly home afterward to get some Tylenol in him.

Sunday after mass we went grocery shopping. In front of the celery we talked about my son's obnoxious behavior. I explained to him that we understood he was being obnoxious because his brain is growing, we expected him to stop soon, so we were going to be patient with him.

We had a lovely day and a terrific Sunday dinner--broiled pork chops marinated in lemon garlic marinade, penne, and green beans.

I wanted my son to return to his bed, but he didn't want to. I actually used a Supernanny technique, taking him to his bed and taking him back the three times he got out. On the third time, I took him back and sat next to the bed, didn't make conversation or eye contact with him, and waited until he fell asleep.

He slept through the night and came bursting into my room at 6AM. The three of us--me, my son, and his Godzilla toy--cuddled in reunion. I had an excellent night sleep, acknowledging at the same time that I will miss him terribly when he grows up and moves away from me.

On Saturday night we had been all together in my study--my girl on the computer, my boy flying a paper airplane, me reading this quilt book. I marvelled that we were in such close proximity. I had a premonition that I will miss being crammed into a room with my kids.

I have narrowed down the dessert menu:

--red velvet cake
--homemade ice cream (which I can do this weekend)

--sweet potato pie
--free form apple pie
--the orange almond cakes pictured above

I was thinking of creme caramel because my stepfather likes it. Though I'll have to get more ramekins.



Then again there this cool recipe for pear upside down cake

I don’t watch car racing, but I channel surf, so I’ve seen car racing. I really admire the pit crews, how they move in synch with each other, how strong and fast and precise they are.

There’s something about the morning routine in my house that makes me feel like I’m a NASCAR race pit crew. This morning was no different, waking the kids up and feeding them breakfast, dressing everyone, getting the kids and their back packs (lunch, homework, jackets, library books, projects) together, getting them in the car, racing to school on the freeway, jumping out of the car and getting all their stuff on them as they run into the school.

And then they’re gone and my task is completed. The rest of the day is zero adrenaline in comparison.

Music is one of the elements for quashing monkey mind.

Playlist:

Al Jarreau Spain
Sade Is it a crime
India Arie Beautiful
Kem I’m Missing You
Sting Probably Me
Zhane Rendevous

This weekend was good. My boy wanted to get up early Saturday morning to play catch because he has a new mitt. It’s good that it was catch because he is now hitting the ball out of the back yard. I put on a snowboarding jacket over my pajamas and we went out to play catch. I love playing catch. I used to do it to relax when I was studying for the bar. [A strange time in all respects, but focused and in the end, successful.]

After catch we went to the front yard to sweep up some street tree debris. Two men drove up and asked us where the public library was. I gave them directions and then felt like an idiot to be standing in front of my house in a snowboarding jacket and pajamas.

The kids went with their dad and I went to my therapy appointment and then grocery shopping. I had my new contacts in and I had just been to therapy, so the grocery shopping was different, more vivid, in an inexplicable way. I think there is something about the fall weather too, but again, I can’t explain it.

Sunday Mass was really good. There was a visiting Jesuit who was very funny, witty and droll. He explained changes to the liturgy and encouraged us to hiss at the old sexist bits from 1975. He also said “Say Amen, church,” which makes me very happy. And he said “If you disagree with these changes, just let us know and we’ll burn you at the stake. Nothing personal.”

I’ve had two lawyering assignments lately which have been very intense. I’m ready for them and I did them very well, but I am aware of their effect on my psyche.

Thanksgiving is next week. Oy. My mom asked me to make desserts. I want to make some awesome cake, complicated and orgasmic.

Thank you to the veterans, for whom we celebrate Veterans Day at home wearing pajamas.

It's cold and damp outside and my kids are at school. So I'm quilting and watching Charlie Rose and reruns of ER. Dinner is roasting in the oven now so I don't have to work so hard at dinner time.

My boy on a field trip a couple of weeks ago.

I volunteered in my guy's class again this morning. We had fun together, while I was helping the other kids with a math game and playing it with my guy. He left his library book in my car, so I went back to get it for him. I also helped my girl carry two liter bottles of soda to her class for a fiesta.

It gives me a very different perspective of their school lives than I get when I drop them off and dash to work. Sitting in his class, I realize that I learn a lot about his learning style and his kindergarten experience when I volunteer. I also filed a lot of the kids' work in their folders.

The lead teacher is very impressive. She is very calm and mild, even when she's correcting them, very intelligent and capable.

My boy hugged me as I left to go to work and he sat down to eat his snack.

I thought on the way to work that because I have to support us, I tend to be inflexible about the demands of my work life. If I contemplate volunteering for something with the school, my inner CPA barks: I have to work. Luckily, I understand that this reality is not absolute and that I can take some time off to spend on field trips and in the classroom. I'm glad I don't work at a firm where I would have to bill my hours.

Off to the eye doctor.

I am very pleased about the election results. There was good news all over the place. I found it hilarious that the Los Angeles Times had 8 No's on its front page.

The weather is gorgeous today--72 degrees and sunny.

This is interesting to me because I love to read about where people do their creative thing.

I'm bummed out that my bags didn't make it into the back-tack gallery, though I'm in good company with some folks who made beautiful bags. Maybe it will be fixed. *Hint*

It was a good weekend. Very restful.

I stayed up late on Friday night, quilting and piecing a bit and watching Season 4 of Gilmore Girls. I have wanted to try this pattern for a while and so I pieced together three squares with Japanese fabric.

Saturday the children came home and we went grocery shopping at a Safeway in Berkeley. I didn’t get any strange looks about my shopping bags and was given a bag credit without having to ask for it.



Two beautiful ladies from New Mexico sent me these treats:



which are quite thrilling. I love them!!

The weather was overcast and drizzly, so my guy was content to lounge around in his pajamas and play with Bionicles, while my girl knitted and cleaned up her room.

I organized the linen closet and my bedroom closet and washed a whole lot of laundry. For dinner, I defrosted the italian sausage pasta sauce and served it with penne and green beans from heaven. These green beans were bagged, like bag lettuce, so they were really moist and tender. I ate the whole bag this weekend.

Sunday I slept in a little (until 7:30AM) and waited until my boy woke up because he doesn’t like it if I get up before him. He has taken to sleeping in my bed again. He was happy to see me when he opened his eyes and accompanied me to the kitchen to make coffee. We retrieved the Sunday papers and he spied the Target toy catalogue. He sat beside me at the dining room table and marked all the toys he wants. Later we made a list and he taped it up next to the fireplace (where Santa descends). I sat next to my little guy as he was marking and discussing the merits of each toy and felt a huge amount of admiration for and companionship from him.

We went to Mass and then, after donuts, right back home; no errands! My boy and I played baseball and I raked and swept up in the back yard. The children devised a game with a super bouncing rubber ball which they played upstairs and so I got about 90 minutes of uninterrupted quilting time. I quilted and listened to Worldview. I especially liked the October 25th interview of Narendra Jadhav, author of Untouchables: My Family's Triumphant Journey Out of the Caste System in Modern India.

He gave a terrific interview with KQED radio where he masterfully chided one of the callers who was complaining about the affirmative action programs in India. It puts American racism in context to understand that the caste system existed for 3500 years in India.

After dinner, we made a batch of chocolate chip cookies from this book, using King Arthur flour. They turned out really well, for which I credit the flour. I washed dishes and cleaned the kitchen and then took a bath (reading house porn in the tub) and hung out with the children.

I slept poorly because my boy was extremely restless, but we got to school early, with freshly baked cookies in the kids’ lunches.

I took yesterday off of work to try to catch up. I feel very behind on my domestic duties. Between work and school and crafting, there are a lot of tasks that I am either aware of and not finding time to do, or things that need to be done that I'm moving too fast to notice and get done.

Yesterday I installed these shelves, after two trips to Home Depot and very humorous conversations with three or four helpful employees. It's nice to go to HD on a weekday.

Now I have more table space to quilt and cut and piece.



I also cut the front lawn and pruned a bunch of plants and swept up.

I tried to strike a balance between resting and working around the house, because I needed to catch up and I needed to chill out.

There will be more days like this in the near future.